Great guide to the world of cheesy movies! Indispensable and worth repeated readings.

Robert Altman attempts a family movie. Filmed in Malta,Robin Williams stars as the obnoxious,spinach-eating sailor. Since it's a movie aimed at the young 'uns,the plot is about how people suffer under burdensome taxes.

Thanks to Malta,we can enjoy the sight of Jason Bateman shirtless. Other than that,this movie is wretched,with Bateman and Zach Braff as colleagues fighting over Braff's wife,Amanda Peet.

A boy wants to regrow his hair. His friends wants hair... down there. Apply the peanut butter solution, listen to Celine Dion, and wonder "won't somebody PLEASE think of the children?"

Alicia Silverstone's career vanished after Clueless. In this movie,she stars as a member of the group "Global Heresy." She gets two elderly English nobles,Peter O'Toole and Joan Plowright,to "rock out." No wonder Silverstone is baring all for PETA&hawking vegan mayonnaise in Rachael Ray's mag.

An incredibly unerotic "erotic" thriller. Mickey Rourke stars as an alienated gazillionaire,and his then real-life girlfriend Carre Otis. Plenty of nudity,no heat. No heart either.

Kenneth Branagh turns Shakespeare's light comedy into a pretentious '30s musical. Kill it with music! Alicia Silverstone disappeared after this one.

Kevin Costner as a heroic postman in post-apocalyptic Oregon. Oregon deserved better.

Kim Cattrall in an early role as a bureaucrat in a post-apocalyptic city run by feral teenagers. She's no Sex and the City cougar. Yet.

Rolling Stone famously drubbed this movie for "intrusive klezmer music" and "Elijah Wood acting by widening his eyes." Sorry,kids,it's not the 8th Harry Potter movie.

The title has overkill much,don't it? Sorry,fangirls,it's not about Orlando Bloom. But if you like B movies,this one's for you. The colors on the cover are a psychedelic combination. Turn on,tune in,drop out. Give Iowa a try!

To celebrate July 4th, learn that boudoir fireworks is what sparked Thomas Jefferson to write the Declaration of Independence. William Daniels stars as John Adams,and Blythe Danner, then expecting Gwyneth Paltrow,is Martha Jefferson,who sings about her husband's bedroom abilities in "He plays the violin." TOO MUCH INFORMATION!

Bruce Lee impersonator Bruce Li battles bad guys while wearing a hilariously cheesy yellow jumpsuit. There's a grunting Caucasian villain, the hero's constantly sighing captive girlfriend.. plenty of vocalizing since the premise is pretty... awful.

Mandy Moore NEVER mentioned this movie when it went straight to DVD. She doesn't acknowledge its existence in interviews (she redeemed herself in "Saved!") Also stars Teutonic art house diva Franka Potente. Has a Debbie Harry of Blondie cameo.

A group endorsed by Debbie Harry and... Elijah Wood. Everything is connected.

Robert Altman's boring final movie. The goodhearted folks at Prairie Home Companion are pitted against an evil Texas millionaire. With Meryl Streep&Lily Tomlin as sisters,John C.Reilly&Woody Harrelson as raunchy cowboys,and Virginia Madsen as the Angel of Death. Pretentious,boring mess. Radio on the silver screen...

Putumayo's latest compilation. Does it have a recipe for Toronto Noodle Soup,the meal featured in the disturbing Peanut Butter Solution?

A bizarre movie with the future Mrs. John Travolta, Kelly Preston,as a young woman out to avenge her father's murder. She's battling Jared-Syn,who along with his one-armed bandit son Baal,is allying with the Arabic-like Nomads,to wage holy war on humans.

A dark fantasy by Astrid Lindgren. An orphan boy learns he's a prince (with a fey father),and with the help of the young Christian Bale, defeats the Dark Knight Katto.

Cameron Diaz and future Dr. Who Christopher Eccleston star as activist hippies. It's trippin' indeed.